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No Copyright Applicable, With Proper Citations,
Except where noted,
Joshua A. Katz
Updated: 20 July 2000
Contact via email:
leftyjoska@netscape.net
URL:
http://tenleytown.celtic.
freeservers.com/





An Explanation:
Why German Football? Why These Teams?


It’s probably not at the top of your list, but why is this bloody American writing about German football—especially since he knows probably next to nothing. We’ve had a paucity of pickings when it comes to soccer on TV. Luckily, one channel regularly shows games, WNVC (#24 on District Cablevision); and on Friday nights and Sunday afternoons they show Bundesliga. For two seasons already, that’s been (one of) the only game(s) in town. And of those matches, it seems that it is always Werder, Hansa Rostock, HSV, Hertha, Leverkusen, or ’60 who is playing.
So, why, first of all, Werder Bremen? Reason #1: Remember, if you do, the 98/99 season, Werder’s relegation battle? Well, the company that shows games on WNVC seems to show those games, which are more competitive, rather than the table leaders Bayern. So, even before I met Anne I was a fish head wannabe.
Reason #2: Celtic and Werder are footballing worlds apart (though they played in 88/89 or so in European competition). But, just as with so many things, luckily, Werder’s colors are perfect: Green and white stripes. Their 98/99 tops were quite simply the ugliest I’ve seen for such a tradition-bound club. The 99/00 Puma tops with the green and black stripes were an improvement to be sure. Now, they have thankfully dropped Puma in favor of Kappa. Now, the only thing wrong is that they have a Kappa logo on their chests and sleeves and the strips run the wrong way.
Reason #3: Bremen is just such a cool place. Everyone I’ve met there has been so nice.
Reason #4: I really dislike Bayern.

New Team Tops for 00/01: A Critique


With that, what about these new tops? I can see it now. The design guy from Puma comes into meet with Werder. ‘Ok, so we’ve made some changes to our jerseys; we’re not making those striped things. Instead, we’ve got these great new ones.’
The guy from Werder: ‘Are you crazy! Those things are ugly. Hello, Kappa?’
Want an indication how ugly they are? Check out what the Czech national team, Wolfsburg, and Eintracht Frankfurt are wearing. I mean hell, Borrusia Dortmund changed from Nike to some other company (and we congradulate them) and were able to make a great-looking top. What happened at Wolfsburg, et. al.?
The season is just about to begin. What else is there to do but talk about what the jerseys look like?
Werder’s transition is greatly welcomed. If only the stripes…ok I already mentioned that. But seriously, a louder green would have been fantastic. A redesign of the badge would be nice, too: include the key in it (for those not in the know, just look at a bottle of Beck’s; the key is the symbol for Bremen).

The best of the others.

Here are the teams who have changed Tricots: Bayern, Bayer, Hertha, Wolfsburg, Werder, Borussia Dortmund, Eintracht Frankfurt, Hansa Rostock. Of these, the following have improved their look: Bayern, Werder, Borussia Dortmund. Not good, eh? It gets better. Bayern has had such terrible jerseys they could only improve. The latest model looks like they’re wearing a Sunderland or PSV top with a white dainty lace collar over it—the kind you find at Mass. Can Bayern ever find a decent look?

So, who has made the best improvement? I can’t pick Werder, because that would be too obvious. By default: BVB Dortmund. First, they stopped wearing the Nike swoosh, emblam of exploitation and fascism embraced by the idiots across the water. Second, they have really loud colors, which they’ve certainly used in the past.

The ugliest jersey in Bundesliga 1. First of all, let’s agree that there are a lot of teams with quite boring tops. Adidas, blue or red or combo. For this shame, we list here Unterhaching, Leverkusen, and Schalke 04. Stuttgart avoids this group by having grey sleeves. Second of all, why is it that I cannot tell apart the following clubs: Freiburg, Stuttgart, Nuremberg, Kaiserslautern? Yes, I can tell if I concentrate on it, but all of them have prominent red in their tops. When the TV is fuzzy, as it has been, I cannot tell.

But the Ugliest Jersey of Them All goes to VfL Wolfsburg. Positive points: the big VW symbol, tres cool. Green jerseys. Points off: The green could be tres cooler if it were neon. Yes, neon. The Puma-designed top, ugh. Take away the white stripe and it looks like they should be patting their badge saying, ‘Beam mich up’ every Saturday on Sat. 1.

Werder Bremen to Play BL1 Newcomers Energie Cottbus
Werder begin their season at home in Weser Stadium against Energie Cottbus. Werder is looking improved at a number of positions this season. Fabian Ernst has come over from HSV this summer and should help an already strong midfield. He joins such top names as Dieter Eilts, Andreas Herzog (10 assists), and Yuri Maximov. Up front at striker, Werder’s trio should have another fine season. Marco Bode scored 13 goals, Ailton 12, and Pizzaro 10, with Ailton providing 10 assists. Brazilian Ailton came in second in the league in combined goals and assists (22) behind Martin Max of 1860 (19 goals, 4 assists). All told, Werder scored 65 goals, which puts them in an elite: only Bayern and Bayer Leverkusen scored more (73 and 74 respectively). BL1 third-place HSV scored 63, and the next best team behind them, fourth-place 1860, scored 55.

Scoring goals is not SV Werder’s problem. The defense allowed an incredible 52 goals. Those allowing more include: Kaiserslautern (fifth place, 59 g.a.), Wolfsburg (seventh, 58), SC Freiburg (twelfth, 56), Hansa Rostock (fifteenth, 60), and relegated SSV Ulm (62), Arminia Bielefeld (61), and MSV Duisburg (71). All told, with three more points last season, Werder would have finished in fifth place instead of ninth.
To correct this problem (curiously similar to Celtic’s), Trainer Thomas Schaaf has brought in two new faces in the back line to help Thorsten Frings and Frank Baumann: Mladen Krstajic on the left back position from Partizan Belgrade and Frank Verlaat in central defense from Ajax.

On the other side of the field will be Energie Cottbus. Energie have made a helluva journey into the First Bundesliga. Along with Hansa Rostock, they are the only two teams who will be in the top flight from the former DDR. Since the reunion of Newfunfland to the rest of Germany, Energie have moved up the ranks from the Third, or Regional, Division to Bundesliga 2 and now to Bundesliga 1. Quite an accomplishment which should be noted. With success (and the money that goes with it) have come new faces. New to the side are Hungarian Vilmos Soboek from Mannheim and previously Bristol City, Bosnian Bruno Akrapovic from Tennis Borussia Berlin, Macedonian Toni Micevski, Reghecampf from Steaua Bucarest, Ronny Thielemann from Hansa Rostock, Ferenc Horvath from RC Genk (Belgian champs 98/99), and Toralf Konetzke from Fortuna Cologne, and Andrei Kobylanski from Hannover 96.
Obviously, Bendesliga 1 is quite a different game from BL2. Energie have problems in defense. Rudi Vata used to play for Celtic—a defender let go by Celtic does not bode well. Energie are stronger, to be sure, but not strong enough. Werder’s improvements far outstrip those of Energie.

Prognosis: Werder wins big at home.

SC Rot-WeiB-Oberhausen start against Stuttgart Kickers
Bundesliga 2


No, I do not have a prematch description. All I have now is an explanation as to why a Bundesliga 2 team, from a town I do not even know, should be followed here. There are two teams with shamrocks in their badges in Bundesliga 2. Both wear red and blue. Hmm. So, which one to follow? Rot-WeiB is my choice. The other ones, Greuther Fuerth, wear…how shameful…blue Nike tops and white shorts. Remind you of anyone evil? On the other hand, Oberhausen wear red tops with white sleeves and white shorts made by Uhlsport. Uhlsport, Umbro—both begin with U. Not much, eh?
Oberhausen, like Energie Cottbus, have been moving up the ranks. This is their third season in BL2, having finished twelfth in 98/99 and sixth last season.
Want more info? Go to Rot-WeiB Oberhausen’s Official Site.